Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
