I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
