My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
