Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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