dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
