i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We smell like vodka and hangover
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