Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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