Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
