Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
