Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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