Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
