All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
