where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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