I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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