He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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