I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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