I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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