We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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