my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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