He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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