u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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