Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
