this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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