Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
