you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
