I wanna bring you to show and tell
You just made me feel so damn special
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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