My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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