you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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