I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
