The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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