Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
