based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
