you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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