i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Of course I have a pirate flag
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize