I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
