Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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