we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
