p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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