it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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