if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think my moral compass just broke
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize