We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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