It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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