I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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