My nipple is on Facebook.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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