it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
