so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
