Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
