I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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