Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
