its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
