help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize