New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
