You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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