remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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