Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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