I wish I could punch you in the face.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
