what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
