Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
